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About Deviant Official Beta Tester RinaFemale/Norway Groups :iconkawaiiheaven: kawaiiheaven
Crazy for cuteness!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
3 Month Core Membership
Statistics 32 Deviations 1,243 Comments 20,972 Pageviews

ETC + Gallery Marks

♦ Ask me to sell/trade my characters (adopted or selfmade)
♦ Ask me to put you on waitlist for ^^^
♦ Ask me to buy your adopts made by you / commissions

I don't want to deal with comments or notes like that, they are very upsetting to me. Please respect that.
If you slip up, I'll try to respond, but if I turn you down or even if I ignore these comments /notes entirely,
please to not be persistent or try to guilt trip me do so anyway, or ignore my wishes to not ask to be put
on waitlist for them.

I will block you if you do.

Asperger Syndrome Stamp by MooniGaming Aspergers-Stamp by Dinoclaws

(diagnosed by doctor/psychiatrist, not by myself)

Shy Stamp by Neko-Musume Wishful Thinking by whispwill

Dreading my birthday + inactivity

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 18, 2017, 6:32 AM

my birthday is coming up, the 8th of April...

I've usually liked my birthdays, and other celebrations, like christmas etc... 
but my joy for my birthdays are fading

Another year I've failed to improve my art
another year where I still don't have friends outside those online, to hang out with
then there's also the fact that I feel like I'm losing the friends I do have online also. 
people I would speak to on a daily or almost daily or at least weekly basis... barely see
online or talk to anymore, and the growing feeling of being isolated and alone both irl and online... 

Another year where I've failed to lose weight, and have to deal with feeling like I disappoint and worry my 
mother and my older brother in particular., esp mom though, she nags a lot because she's worried... 

It's so hard though, when you feel drained, and lacking in energy... 
Yet I know from having had issues and being successful once in the past, that if I lost weight, I'd have more energy,
and that I've done it before and I have the potential to do it again... just this time seems so much harder. 
Despite school being an awful place for me regardless which school it was... having studies, homework, limited time... 
was that part of why it was easier then? or was it something else? was it simply that I wasn't as overweight then as I am now? 
then there's also the fact of feeling guilty that I should be working on losing weight, rather than try to draw, that has been increasing...

I just feel so.... guilty, empty and drained
My birthday this year I really dread it. I just feel like I've failed to do so much since my last birthday, be it weight, change in my art or whatever... 

the stress, frustration and sadness I feel each month over my limited 100gb internet before snail speed internet doesn't help me either... 
every month it's worry, stress and crying over too little internet, even with downloading patreon rewards either at my brother or my mother's place I struggle so much. 
this internet sub just feels so eternally long.... it's definitely part of what drains me and makes me feel bad, though obviously not all of it. 

it also feels like a sad statement of my life that my current bright spots in the week/things to constantly look forward to and enjoy,  is guild raid in World of Warcraft, and competing with the 2 people I've been teaming up with the last week or so in OW competitive

aside from that, due to struggling with my art, and not being able to watch streams on picarto/twitch and such... the time seems to pass both slowly and quickly... 
each day seems slow outside of my gaming, the week goes slowly too, yet the months where I feel each month I keep failing over and over seem to happen so often and quickly...  

I'm just... so tired. 

(currently stored most of my gallery, might unstore at some point again, but for now it's in storage) 

Skin by UszatyArbuz



Add a Comment:
miatatoe Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017  New Deviant Student Traditional Artist
Are u okay?
Koriru Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hope you're doing ok...
Polka-Pot Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2017
Happy Birthday Rina, hope you have a great one ^w^
(1 Reply)
Koriru Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday. It might seem like Im spaming you, but I really want you to have a good day and enjoy it.
(1 Reply)
toothblade007 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Birthday cake  icon Happy Bday!Birthday cake  icon 
(1 Reply)
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